Toxic femininity is a subject that has been pushed under the rug for so long . It is barely ever discussed, some are even ignorant of its existence or have merely failed to acknowledge it. Far less media or academic attention has been devoted to toxic femininity than to toxic masculinity.
We first need to establish what we mean by toxic behaviors to understand toxic femininity . Toxic behavior occurs when people misinterpret, lie about and exaggerate situations to shape and manipulate it or people to fit their needs .
Toxic femininity is when women use their gender to manipulate and gain certain privileges from the society, especially men . I discussed with a friend about toxic femininity and she said “ it is when women conceal injurious , roundabout modes of confrontation with douceur.
Subtle body shaming , loose comments about your breast ,bum ,stomach and body shape. “See how was your ‘nyash’ is”😂 “This your stomach self , when will you buy waist trainer ?” “Iyawo when are we expect naming ceremony now .” They say these things smiling trying to dilute the effects of this comments. It is when empathy becomes ethical myopia. For example, when a woman keeps yelling at her husband and making weird demands and blaming it on pregnancy hormones or a girl blaming her bad behavior on her period or pms.
Just like toxic masculinity, toxic femininity is as a result of the deeply patriarchal society and system . Some have even said it is a coping mechanism for living in this society.
We need to debunk the myth that men can never be victims of woman especially as parity grows between genders.
A lot of women can get away with being horrible because their toxicity is usually marked as emotional expression when it is really just a destructive behavior.
Types of Toxic femininity.
There are Two types of Toxic femininity:
- Woman – man Toxic femininity
- Woman- woman Toxic femininity
Woman -man toxic femininity
This is when a woman uses her feminine ‘weakness’ to manipulate a man . She puts up a facade of fragility to trigger a man’s need to help her out . They use this to get men do what they want or get away with what they have done.
Woman – man Toxic femininity traits
- Physically assaulting a man because you know the society wouldn’t accept him hitting the ‘weaker’ sex.
- Blaming bad behaviors or period or pms.
- Trying to trap a man into a relationship with pregnant .
- Acting frail to be excused from physical task.
- Coercing a man into sex by guilt tripping, questioning his sexuality or threatening him when he doesn’t oblige to sexual advances.
- Wives withholding sex from their husbands until they they get their way with a situation .
- Using easily accessed emotions like crying to guilt trip a man .
- Pulling out the ‘weaker’ sex card to evade work.
- Leading a man on and making sexually suggestive comments to achieve a strategic end .
- Constant emotional assault by accusing him of things ‘prone’ to men like cheating or always wanting sex.
- Expecting financial favors for being in a mans life.
Women- women Toxic femininity
These is expressed through gossiping, backstabbing ,social exclusion, rumor mongering and bullying . This are manipulation tactics used to keep other women controlled or submissive to them . They are usually done under the facade of sweet smiles – this color is nice on you, if only you were little fairer , oh I forgot to tell you about it , you’re always so quiet sometimes I forget you exist , if I were you , I will stop eating ice cream, you know you’re already fat …
Women to women toxic femininity traits
- Mother in-law bully her daughter in-law
- Urgent whispers when you walk into the room and when you ask what the secret is they say nothing .
- Frequent comment on your body.
- Humiliating observations about your marital and reproductive status.
- A mother jealous of her blooming teen daughter because she’s insecure- so you think you can now talk back at me because you’ve started growing breasts? Men have started chasing you know that’s why you have wings .
- Prying into friend’s private life without permission.
It is unfair to leave the subject toxic femininity out of social conversations. When we speak of change and equity , we must include all of humanity. We cannot do that by tearing down genders , making one seem like a prey and the other a predator or one as a saint and the other as a sinner . Although women are subtle , toxic femininity is real.
Are there traits you’ve stopped out in your self that you need to correct or have you experience toxic femininity? Share with me in the comment section. I look forward to hearing from you .
Please do not to share and subscribe 🙃to be the first to know when I’ve something new ☺️
Reach me on social media👇