This pandemic/global lock down period has been many things and one is it been a time of revolution. Beyond the increase in death rate ,a lot of things have been brought to light with enough time to tackle this cases and Rape is one of them . With everyone at home with nothing to do , eyes are been opened, minds working smartly because not much is occupying it . Rape has therefore been brought to light , a very bright light infact, especially here in Nigeria.
Rape has been since the time of the Bible and for whatever reason , it is still a thing today even after over two thousand years! There has been evolutions and revolution but this vice never went extinct, the question now is will this present revolution bring the end of rape? What measures where not taken in the past? What measures will be effective today?
Personally, I think what we have been doing wrong is silence. Yes , we hear about rape her and there but it always always dies down quicker than the light of a match stick . People trying to cover up, sometimes the ‘shame’ of the victim, families don’t want their own to be identified as “ the one that was raped ”, families don’t want their own to be identified as “ the one that raped ” especially when it was the relative that raped their own. Fathers raping daughters , uncles raping nieces , aunties rapping nephews, yes , people tend to over look the fact that even boys get raped . Very well ,it is quite rampant amongst the females but these boys get raped and more than half of the time they never speak about it. Boys are known to be free spirited, ‘ they don’t really care’ ,but in reality they do, but must times they do not even realize the extent to which they do , thanks to the society that have said ” you’re a man! You should be strong ! How dare you cry?! Come on chest it ,are you not a man? All these has made the males to build strong walls even as children and really they do not even realize but it is what it is.
- I believe the major reason why victims do not speak up is because of RAPE APOLOGISTS. Rape apologists are people that try to justify rape, they believe “there was a reason”, they believe the victims must have done something to deserve it. They are people that ask questions like ” what time was it? What was she doing there? What was she wearing? How was she walking? They say things like “she must have tried seducing him ”. Basically, rape apologists are ignorant people and I have come to believe that we shouldn’t judge them but enlighten them. I was listening to the radio one day and a caller who claims to be a doctor said
“ rape is what happens when a girl seduces a man, turns him on and then tries to run away ” E shock you? E shock me too dear! My dear, I was torn between shock and disgust that day, but because I’m a better person today than I was that day, I will say like I said before, he was just ignorant, too ignorant in fact ( and he says he is a doctor I just hope, I truly hope he hasn’t made many victims)
Unfortunately, the ignorance of people that are supposed to help has scared victims away from speaking up! A lot of things go through their minds like, “ what will they say? Will they believe me? I am sure they will blame me? Ah! They will just kill me!” E.t.c. And all these unnecessary questions only damages the victim the more. Please note; what were you wearing? Should never be the first question you ask a victim! How about pulling them into a hug and say I am so sorry, then ask how are you feeling? Who was he? It shows that you’re human.
- Another reason why these victims do not speak up is because of THREATS from their oppressors. Some of the oppressors threaten their lives and even that of their loved ones should they ever speak a word about it.
- Fear, of course after a threat, there is bound to be fear, I mean that was the aim 🤷♀️. They get scared and are therefore easily manipulated and this is the upper hand that oppressors have over their victims.
- ENVIRONMENT! The environment of the victim matters a lot too, some parents and guidance are so strict, their ward can barely to them about pleasant situations not to talk about something so gruesome. Some do not even think anyone cares about them especially in moments like this.
Sometimes, these victims can’t speak up because it is the people that they trust the most, the ones that are meant to nurture them than harm them. At this juncture, I must say YOU DO NOT OWN ANYBODY! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT OVER THE BODY OF AN INDIVIDUAL, NOT EVEN YIUR CHILD OR WIFE! NO MEANS NO, whether it was breathed out, whispered or shouted, whether it sounds assertive or not NO MEANS NO.
- A minor cannot give consent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( how loud should this be? should I increase the volume?)
What Consent Is
- FREELY GIVEN: It is out of a free will. You do not beg for it! You don’t try to guilt-trip for it. There is nothing like ” it is me o, your boyfriend o, your husband o ” there is nothing like ” don’t you love me? If you love me you will do it” NO
- INFORMATIVE: Yes, I want to have sex. Yes, kiss me, but No sex. No, do not touch me.
Note: Eye contact/ body language isn’t categorized as content.
- ENTHUSIASTIC: nobody is forcing it, you both should be happy and enjoying it, both of you should be at peace.
- REVOCABLE: she said yes yesterday doesn’t mean she wants it today. Screw it, she said yes two minutes ago and that realizes she doesn’t want it? Respect it. Anyone is free to change their mind after they realize it was a wrong decision.
Learn some self-control and discipline today!🙂 yes to consent! No to rape! End the rape culture!